


Almost (Sweet Music)

by WrittingSparxx



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22095889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittingSparxx/pseuds/WrittingSparxx
Summary: I wouldn't know where to start, sweet music playing in the darkbe still my foolish heart, don't ruin this on meWhen you started dating Siebren, you didn't think that Sigma would be a problem. You knew he was a killer. So were you. But, you were afraid.
Relationships: Sigma | Siebren de Kuiper/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hostilewitness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hostilewitness/gifts), [ClareGuilty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClareGuilty/gifts).



> As always, thank you ClareGuilty and hostilewitness for giving me the courage to post fics again.

Three years. The relationship had lasted three years between the two of you. You never imagined that it would have lasted even this long. Everyone had believed that Siebren would go mad. Surely his powers, the one he got from trying to play god, would make him go completely crazy. But you never shied away from him. Siebren was brilliant. A genius who took his work and learning to the next level. You understood what that was like. When you had joined Talon, you were the same way: Velous, eager, and ready to do anything to continue your research. 

That’s how you met Siebren in the first place. It had been a few years after his accident when he was brought to the Talon base. He was scared and still didn’t know how to harness his powers. So, he was introduced to you. You worked in the medical bay at the time, specializing in medications and biochemistry. You had been working closely with Moira that past couple of years, but had finally gained enough clout in the organization to have your own lab with assistants. You were particularly interested in a medication or technology that would release adrenaline at controlled bursts to give the user a burst of normally unused power. 

But that was all put on hold. The leaders of Talon appointed you to take care of Dr. Siebren de Kuiper. Or, Sigma, as he was known at the facility he had been held at. You obliged, more interested in working with the famous de Kuiper rather than anything else. You had read his papers over the years, and the man was quite interesting and extremely smart. It would be fun to work with him. 

Over the first couple of months, it was just professional between the two of you. All discussions were about the work, nothing personal, and definitely nothing about the accident that had gotten Siebren to this place. After a few months, there were discussions about missing home, or about how Siebren really wanted a different pair of socks, or how you enjoyed your tea or coffee. About a year into knowing Siebren, you realized that you had feelings that went beyond professional with him. 

It started with tea in the morning. You would read a chapter in whichever book of the week was, he would translate the paper from English to Dutch quietly. Then it was breakfast tea, and lunch in the lab. You would bring your lunch into your office and sit doing some equations with a pen between your teeth and a sandwich held aloft in your other hand. Siebren would practice his fine motor skills with his powers, making your whiteboard pens fly across the board, writing out long equations to try and figure out what went wrong all those years ago. And finally, it was dinner in his quarters. Usually a quiet affair, the two of you discussing whatever came to mind. Then, Siebren would insist on doing the dishes before the two of you would sit on his couch, bouncing theories from your respected fields off of each other. Eventually you would fall asleep on the couch, the last thing you remember being lifted by strong hands and classical music. 

The first time the two of you kissed, it was magical. It had been in the winter and was early morning breakfast. Tea and papers. You asked for a refill on tea, and not wanting to get up from your spot on the couch in his bunk, too warm by the blanket pulled over you. Siebren got up and obliged without any hesitation, saying, “Yes, dear,” in his beautiful voice. When he came back, you took the cup from him, leaning in and kissing him. It was like you had done it a thousand times before. Like this was a daily thing. At first, the blush creeped up both your face and his. You had turned away, but had apologized profusely about it. Instead of making fun of you or saying something dismissive, you found a large hand on your cheek, guiding you in for another kiss. It was gentle, calm, and loving. 

It was two months later that you found yourself tangled in bed naked with Siebren. Due to the accident a few years back, he was so  _ big  _ and tall and lanky. Something about spaghettification or something. Whatever had made him so tall scared you a bit. Siebren could have easily broke you in half. Instead, it was a night like any other. It was all hands and slow, careful movements. You had never felt so amazing before in your life, and you tried your best to do the same for him. It was also the first night that you heard Siebren whisper “ _ Mijn liefste, jij bent mijn zonneschijn.”  _ You found out later, with some goading that it meant “You are my sunshine, my love.”

The two of you went public a few weeks later. It wasn’t be choice at first. You heard that Talon was taking Siebren on his first mission since joining the group. It terrified you that Siebren might not be ready. You had rushed to the hanger where the strike team was shipping out of. You found Siebren in his uniform, his mask not on yet. “Doctor de Kuiper, one last thing before you go?” you remember asking him. You lead him away from the group, wrapping your arms around him and leaning in to kiss him. Reyes had caught the two of you kissing and raised an eyebrow but said nothing. The next week, everyone knew about you and Siebren. Still, you didn’t mind, and neither did Siebren it seemed. Getting to call Dr. de Kuiper your own was one of the greatest feelings in the world. 

After the two of you were found out, it was nearly impossible to separate the two of you. When Siebren wasn’t one missions or with other members of the staff, he was either hovering in your lab, or he was at your place going over papers. That continued on for years, the two of your nearly inseparable except when Siebren was taken on missions. It was nearly two years before you had met Sigma. Sure, you had heard rumors around the base: the well mannered Dr. de Kuiper was really a lethal killer. You had tried to ignore it - Everyone at Talon was a killer. That’s what made you Talon members. It wasn’t like you joined because you thought that you were above doing anything necessary to reach your goals - But, one day Siebren’s mission ended early. The team had to pull out for their safety and return to base.

You immediately rushed to the hanger to greet the team, mostly eager to see Siebren. But when he got off the airship, he was different. He was floating a few inches off the ground, something that you had seen a few times before, but he was muttering, his eyes darting everywhere. He kept screaming at people who tried to help him, and he was whispering “Keep it together,” to himself over and over again. You approached him, reaching up and putting your hand on his arm. He immediately pulled his hand away,causing you to stumble back. You had looked away, trying to hide the hurt in your face. 

Soon, after that mission Sigma started to show up more often than Siebren did. You tried your best to keep him calm during these episodes. Talking to him usually worked, or just allowing him to write equations around the room, with a hallopen, letting the equations and words float around for a bit. Sometimes when you didn’t have the time to talk Siebren through his Sigma episodes, you would put on some classical music to play in the background, letting him hum along to the melody as he scribbled across the room or started mumbling about one thing or another. 

It wasn’t until one day, when you had a long day at the lab, that you were at your break point. It was just over three years that Siebren had been with Talon. That night, you came home, just wanting to take a shower and go to bed next to Siebren. But when you got home, you heard that Sigma was floating around the room. You sighed and tried to push past him, just trying to get to the bathroom. Sigma saw you, grabbing your wrist. “Do you hear that, _ mijn liefste?”  _ he asked, looking at you with wide eyes. 

“Siebren, not now,” you said, trying to pull your arm away. 

“What is that melody?” Sigma asked, tightening the grip on your wrist.

Frustrated, you tried to pull away, wrenching your hand hard. “ _ Siebren!”  _ you nearly yelled. “Let go!” 

Sigma didn’t show any signs of comprehending what you said, and instead, trying to pull you toward him again. In doing so, you heard a loud  _ pop  _ in your wrist followed by blinding pain in your arm. You started crying, finally being able to get away from his grip on you. You pushed him away, heading back out the door and toward the medical bay. 

Moira had patched you up, and you decided to go to your own room instead of returning to Siebren’s that night. You avoided him for a few days, trying to hide the fact that you had been hurt so badly by him. You didn’t want to think about Sigma hurting you again, or whether or not Siebren could remember that the broken wrist was because of him. Still, you couldn’t avoid him forever. The base was small, after all. 

It was in the lab where Siebren finally found you. You were nursing your wrist in the cast, listening to an opera and writing notes about the latest biotechnology experiment that you had been working on. It was calm in the lab that day. When Siebren had called your name, you flinched, scooting back and trying to put space between you and him. Siebren look ashamed that he had scared you. “I am sorry for scaring you,” he said simply, his eyes wide as he watched you for a moment. 

“It’s fine, Siebren. I’m sorry, but I am very busy,” you said, turning back to your papers, your hand rubbing at the cast on your wrist instinctively. 

Siebren gasping, seeing the cast. “Are you hurt?” he asked softly, moving to stand next to you, his hand going to cup the side of your face.

You flinched, pulling away. “I’m fine, Siebren. Please,” you said simply, turning your eyes away from him. “I am really busy,” you said softly.

Siebren looked a little hurt that he wasn’t allowed to stay or comfort you, but eventually he left. That night, you decided that you were going to spend the night with him again. It wasn’t his fault that Sigma did this to you. After all, he wasn’t really sure what had happened. When you got to Siebren’s room, you entered like normal, finding the scientist curled up with a book. Immediately he put the book aside, getting up to greet you. 

You put your hands up defensively, telling him that you were still nervous about being touched. “Siebren…” you said softly. Slowly you lowered your hands, reaching out for one of his. You curled your fingers against his, stepping up and placing your head against his chest. You couldn’t remember if that was the first time you cried in front of him, but it was definitely the first time that you cried that hard. You couldn’t form words for several minutes, just letting the sobs wrack through your body. 

When you could breathe again, you told him about meeting Sigma. About the night that you had just wanted to go to bed, but Sigma wouldn’t allow you to. How he broke your wrist. Siebren tried to comfort you as you told him the story, but you pulled away again, trying to keep a little bit of a distance between the two of you. This wasn’t his fault. Lately on his missions and his meetings with Moira, Talon had been trying to get more of Sigma’s powers out of him. It made his grip on reality worse than it usually was, and so it was difficult for him to tell the difference between when he was Sigma and when he was Siebren. 

“Sometimes I only remember that I’m Siebren when I am with you,” he said softly, reaching out to take your hand. “I would never do anything to hurt you,” he said, kissing the top of your cast. You smiled brightly and leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips gently. 

“I know,  _ mijn liefste,”  _ you said softly, closing your eyes. “But I cannot be around you any more. I am too scared. I’m scared that one night I will go to bed with Siebren and I will wake up to Sigma making me hover above the bed or be holding onto me so tight he breaks my wrist,” you said, tears starting to fall down your cheeks again. “This hurts me  _ so  _ bad,  _ mijn liefste.”  _

Siebren pulled away from you, just staring for a minute. “ _ Mijn liefste,  _ please. I can work on being better. I can- I can try and avoid missions, or work just on base, or-” Siebren started to plead.

You reached out and took his hands, leaning in to kiss him slowly again. “I’m sorry, Siebren. But this is for the best,” you said softly. You got up, pulling your hands from him and leaving the room. 

That was nearly six months ago. You found any excuse to avoid Siebren as much as possible. You became a closed lab, not letting anyone that didn’t work specifically on the experiments or on the high council in. You didn’t eat in the cafetiera, nor did you spend too much time outside. Now that you were used to a routine that didn’t involve Siebren, you were starting to go back to doing things like you used to. You would go and get tea in the morning, and would visit other labs and even started hanging out around other members of the base as well. 

One day, you were near the medical bay, having heard that Moira’s team had just gotten back from a mission. When you stepped inside, you felt your body grow cold. Moira was definitely listened to music while she worked, but she wasn’t an opera or classical music person. So, when you heard the aria being played you could only imagine who was in the medical bay as well. When you heard the deep laugh, you knew it was Siebren. 

You closed your eyes, letting the music fill your ears. You knew the piece. It was a personal favorite of Siebren’s. You could feel your heart beating faster, wanting to run up to Siebren and see how he was doing. But you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. That it would be cruel to both you and him. So, instead you just opened your eyes, walking over to the table where Moira was. You checked in on her, pretending that you didn’t see Siebren for a few moments. 

Finally, as you were getting ready to leave you turned and met his piercing green eyes. There was so much hurt behind them that it was difficult to keep his gaze. “Siebren, how are you feeling?” you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. You didn’t want him to guess that you were already choking back tears. 

“Well,  _ mijn liefste,”  _ he said softly. Suddenly there was bright pink across his face. He realized that calling you ‘my love’ wasn’t appropriate and looked away. “I’m sorry. I am well. It’s easier to get out of Sigma, now,” he explained with a smile. 

“Oh? How did you find a good way to ground yourself?” you asked against your better judgement. You weren’t a psychologist by any means, but if there was some sort of technology or drug that they were using for him, you wanted to know. Afterall, Siebren was still a fascinating subject to think about, even from a scientific standpoint. 

Siebren smiled and started humming along with the music. “I hear the music playing. It’s so loud when I’m Sigma,” he said softly. “But, when I hear a piece that I like. Or know. I can think of the people that I want to be better for. Those who helped me when I needed it,” he said with a smile. 

You laughed a little, smiling brightly. “Classical music. That was always your weak point, you know,” you said simply, stepping over next to his exam table. 

“It’s not my only weak point,  _ mijn liefste,”  _ he whispered, reaching out to take the hand that had been broken all those months ago, letting his lips touch the top of your knuckles and making you blush bright pink. 


	2. Cosmic Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months felt like six years. An eternity passed by without your love. Sigma still scared you, but it was time to face the music. Siebren was your entire universe, and you needed him like oxygen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe, I never anticipated writing a second chapter, but here we are!

Six months felt like six years. Every day seemed to pass slower than the next. Everyday that you knew Siebren was on a mission in the field felt like a year. Every time you heard that there was an injury on a team you couldn’t help but wonder whether or not Siebren had been hurt. It took willpower that you didn’t even knew you had to stay away from the medical bay. You took to hiding your phone so that you wouldn’t call him back. It took everything not to call Siebren. 

But you knew it was for the better. You knew that avoiding Siebren would make it easier for both of you to continue on with your lives. You closed yourself in your lab, only allowing those that worked for you or the people on Talon’s high council to see the work that you were doing. You avoided lunches and dinners in the cafeteria whenever possible. You would get breakfast and have it outside when you could. Anything to get away from possibly running into Siebren or worse, Sigma. While you knew that Siebren understood you wanted nothing to do with him, you couldn’t imagine what Sigma would do to you. 

There were nights when you would have nightmares. Usually it was always the same one: You would return from your lab. You would find the man that you loved floating inches above the ground. He was always muttering. It wasn’t always clear what he was saying. For the most part you believed that it was Dutch or Latin or something that you weren’t completely familiar with. But the closer that you got to him, you’d realized that he was mumbling “Keep it together” over and over again. Or he would call out your name. But the way that he called your name wasn’t like in the mornings when he was happy to see you coming out of the bedroom still groggy. No. This was something worse. This was him calling your name out in that deep voice. The voice of the man who broke your wrist. Sigma would step as close as he could. He would grab both of your wrists so tightly that it made you cry out in pain. The more you begged to be let go, the harder he would hold on to you. As you begged him to stop he would lift you up with him, the two of you hovering feet above the ground. 

And then, just when you couldn’t take it any more - when you were crying and begging and pleading - the shift in his face would go from Sigma to Siebren, just long enough. Just long enough to hear him say “Sorry,  _ mijn liefste,”  _ before his face would twist into Sigma once again. That would be the last thing you saw before Sigma was throwing you down toward the ground. You would be falling so fast and so long that you thought that he was dropping you from space. Your whole body would be pummeling down toward the ground, you with no control. The entire time you could see that twisted, malicious look on Sigma’s face. You body would hit the ground with a bounce, causing you to wake up in a cold sweat. Tears were always streaming down your face when you woke up. 

Every time you had a nightmare you didn’t know who to turn to. Every time you would grab your phone and almost dial the contact that was still labeled ‘ _ mijn liefste _ .’ And every time you had to remind yourself that your nightmares were about that man. 

It wasn’t until that day in the medical bay that you even spoke to Siebren. The day that he held the hand that he broke months ago to his lips. The gentle trace of his lips against your knuckles almost had you on your knees in tears right then and there. The simple gesture of trying to comfort you and make you feel better, even when you broke his heart, was enough to make you rethink your decision. After all, it was  _ Sigma  _ that had hurt you.  _ Sigma  _ was who you should blame, not Siebren. Not the man that would make you tea and call you ‘dear’ when you needed it the most. It was Sigma who haunted your dreams and made you cry out in panic every night, not Siebren. Siebren was there to offer comfort when you needed it the most.

Maybe that’s why, when you woke up in a cold sweat, you got out of bed. Maybe that’s why you slipped on the first pair of shoes you could find and made your way to a different room, not even thinking to call ahead. Maybe that’s why at 2 AM you knocked on a door that you used to know the code to get into. Maybe that’s why when Siebren opened the door, looking slightly confused and dazed, you leaned in, pressing your forehead to the center of his chest. 

You listened to his heart speed up for a few seconds before steadying out again. You had your arms clutched tightly to your chest, not wanting to touch him more than you already were. You didn’t want to make any sudden movements just in case this wasn’t Siebren but Sigma. You didn’t want to get hurt again so quickly after allowing yourself to feel better. You could tell that Siebren was just as hesitant, his arms up and away from you as you just stood there. Soon, you could feel large, wide hands on your shoulders. They didn’t pull you in tighter or try to push you off, they just sat there like a security blanket. 

“Can I come in?” you asked after what felt like an eternity. It felt weird, asking to enter into a room that you spent nearly two years living in. But, now that you were away for so long, it had once again become Siebren’s room, and his room only. 

“O-of course!” he said, pulling away so that you could enter. You went to sit on the couch, curled up tightly as you watched him closely. You didn’t say anything to him, just sat there with legs to your chest, watching Siebren move about his room uncertain. “Do you want tea? Or something to eat? I am sure I can make something,” Siebren offered, starting to rifle through his pantry. 

You smiled watching him. You knew that he wouldn’t have anything. Siebren was always too busy to remember to eat. He never went and got groceries unless you reminded him. “Just tea, Siebren,” you said softly. You could see his body lift a little, his muscles relax at the sound of your name leaving his lips. “I am sorry to bother you so early,” you apologized, watching as he pulled out two mugs.

“It’s fine,  _ mijn liefste.  _ Are you alright?” Siebren asked, turning to look at you wide-eyed. He was searching your face, your arms, everything on you making sure that you were okay. Even after hurting him, Siebren was still trying to take care of you.

You sighed, smiling brightly at the familiar nickname. Before, you would have been angry at him calling you that. Trying to make you remember those nights together when he would run his hands through your hair and call you his love over and over again. Now, it was soft and sweet, and a reminder that you were not alone on the base. It reminded you of days that were filled with newspapers and stories about the universe. It reminded you of times when you would listen to Siebren talking about the formation of all the stars in the universe. And it reminded you how much you truly missed Siebren. “I had a nightmare,” you said truthfully. 

As Siebren finished making your tea, just how you liked it, he came to the couch, sitting far enough away to give you space, but still close enough to touch knees. You told him all about the dreams you had been having. You told him about how almost every night since Sigma had broken your wrist you couldn’t think of anything other than him hurting you. You talked about how you tried to avoid him, afraid that if Sigma showed up again you wouldn’t be able to talk him down from an episode. You even talked about how you missed getting to spend time with Siebren. How it hurt to kick him out of the lab or to ignore his messages the first couple of days. 

It was nearly 6 AM when the two of you were slowing down your discussions. Siebren was attentive. He listened to everything you had to say, only talking when he had important things to say. He listened to your fears over Sigma, assuring you that he had been working on it the best that he could, however, he was still afraid of him as well. He talked about how he missed getting to sit across from you at the dinner table, both wrapped in your own books or research papers. He talked about how he was trying to learn how to harness Sigma’s powers for only when he needed them and not go off the deep end every time he was mildly inconvenienced. He talked about how Moira had suggested seeing someone from the psychology ward. And he talked about the music he heard. 

“It is so much clearer now,” he said. You watched as he used his hand to make his mug float over to the coffee table, almost as if he did this every day. “I can hear it. And I think that I am starting to understand. Remember when I told you about the background radiation in the universe?” he asked, his piercing eyes turning to you with excitement.

“How could I forget? You talked for three hours,” you teased him with a smile, setting your empty mug on the table. 

Blush crossed his cheeks in a way that made you laugh. Still, you encouraged him to go on. After clearing his throat he turned and smiled to you once more. “I believe that’s what I am hearing. I am hearing the universe  _ sing  _ to me. And it’s only so clear to me because I am one with the universe,” he said simply. You could see the smile on his face as his mind started to wander. 

Gently, you reached out, touching his arm. “I’m glad that you are figuring things out, Siebren,” you said softly. 

He reached down, placing his hand on top of yours. “I hear your voice too,  _ mijn liefste,”  _ he said softly. “Whenever Sigma shows up… I hear you. I hear the melody of your voice. I hear the way you call my name or call me your love,” he said softly. “I hear you and I do not feel so torn any more. I feel like I am here, with you and that’s all that matters. The entire universe stops when I am with you,” he said softly. 

You blushed bright pink, looking away from him. You couldn’t help but smile, hiding it behind your hand for a second. As you turned back to him, you leaned in, kissing him deeply. When you pulled away you stared into piercing eyes. He was searching your face, a small bit of hurt behind them. “Siebren… You are my entire universe,” you whispered softly. It was cheesy, you knew that, but it held everything you wanted to say. “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I'm back at it again! Thanks for everyone being so awesome and spreading the love on my last fic. I may actually continue this one and maybe do something from Siebren's perspective. Please feel free to yell at me on tumblr at jaffefuneralhomes. Thanks!


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